Poem 3

      Agoraphobia

I plunge into the ocean of my mind,

terrified of what I might find.

There in the depths are things

that should not be uncovered.

I lie awake at night and I’m drowning.

The thoughts crashing into me,

bringing me down.

I’m falling deeper and deeper.

As I pass through the layers of the ocean,

it’s getting harder to breathe.

I am suffocated by the water

that is filling my lungs.

Huge beasts, ten times my size

float around effortlessly –

Dancing and twirling gracefully.

They hover over me, mocking me.

I look right and I see blue.

I look left and I see blue.

Just ocean as far as the mind can see.

It never ends.

I can’t swim.

I can’t win.