Poem 4 Revision

The creature is most vulnerable during the nighttime

Work, school, internship,

Repeat.

Work, school, internship.

10:00 PM  –

Bedtime

for a college student.

Face off.

Makeup off.

Brick rose,

alabaster,

flowing down my

cheeks.

Watercolor masterpiece

in the ivory sink.

Eyeliner and mascara

massacre.

Devil eyes.

No.

My eyes.

When I think

of you

I find myself

through the mask.

When the façade

disappears,

I miss you.

The reason why I'm posting this revision is because I really liked it. It was interesting turning my prose poem into this choppy two-word-per-line poem. I even think it flows a little better since it's so dark and the choppiness adds to the tension.

Graduation: Finally-ish

So, I graduated magna cum laude... I earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology. It was a long 3 hour ceremony (not to mention the four years of hard work, ha), but I did it. I managed to not make a fool of myself. I did decorate my cap and didn't know how much I would stand out, but no one seemed to notice. It did help my family find me in the crowd and it kinda made me feel a tiny bit more proud because I thought it looked adorable!

It was really sunny that day, not to mention it was Father's Day, but the pictures we took after the ceremony turned out decent. We were all squinting at the camera, which is why I'm making a funny face in the picture below.

 

Me and Ryan with my diploma cover and flowers from my Dad

I was happy, but now reality kicked in and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life. Yeah, I got good grades, I have a degree now, and some job experience.. but I don't even know if I'm ready for a full time job. I see how miserable everyone is in their own jobs and I kind of still want to experience some happiness before I have to commit myself like that.

Also... I'm still planning on going to grad school, so how does all that fit in with a full time job? I think I've convinced myself to procrastinate on getting a full time job until I'm like 30..

For now it's summer and I want my last summer to myself, so maybe I'll write some more poetry, short stories, draw or read some books during this time. I haven't yet, but who knows, maybe I'll get inspired. Inspiration comes when you least expect it.

So far I've been creating some new rings with beads I bought not too long ago and I've updated my Etsy shop with a few of those new rings, so check them out! 

Poem 6 - Inspired by Mary Oliver

Silver-Hooves

In fall

   the rustling of leaves

            on the forest floor

                          is the result

of the silver hooves

    that belong to the deer.

            It tiptoes through the maze

                           of hundreds of trees

thinking it is being cleverly silent

     while startling every wild rabbit,

            red fox, and sleepy owl in sight.

                           With each step the crackling

of leaves gets louder and more obvious

      until the red stares from dark holes become clear.

               The whole forest, even the trees judge the deer

                           for its silver hooves that created a nightmare.

"Time Off"

I have a huge mental list of things I want to do this summer/ during my time off from school. I think the first thing is to figure out a name for my "time off" so I don't have to keep saying "time off" and sounding like a loser. (Keep in mind, this encompasses a year and a half)

The next few things on my list include getting back into some of my old hobbies that I never had time for during college. That includes drawing (which I have miraculously gotten better at), reading, (because I have around 50 books that I bought in the hopes of eventually reading them...), making jewelry (because I got new beads!), and writing (after taking a poetry class, I am more experienced in the art of poetry... not).

But I also have to keep in mind finding a job and getting more experience in the psychology world so I can get into a PhD program. But this will come after summer. I think I deserve a chill summer of doing nothing. I know most college kids that have graduated (funny how we're still called kids...) are starting their jobs right away, but I don't think I'm ready for that. I didn't get time to enjoy life during college, I think three to four months of life enjoyment is way overdue for me. 

During this time I'd also like to take a trip somewhere to refresh my mind. I was hoping to go to Poland to spend time with relatives and enjoy nature, but due to weird circumstances, I don't think that's entirely possible. Next on my list: Iceland, New Zealand, Ireland, Sweden... haha I'm kidding. Minnesota will do just fine. (:

Poem 5 - Take a Guess What This One's About (:

               Burned Wet Flesh 

The awful screech of a teapot ready
reminded me of something from Poe’s poetry.

Phone in hand, I poured the hot water
quickly but carefully as not to falter.

Sugar was next but what I didn’t know
Was that Jasmine tea would be my biggest foe.

Steaming water danced across my leg
and left red candle drip marks while I begged
for the pain to stop and the bubbling burn to cool.

No amount of ice was the right tool
that would help me overcome what I now know
that Jasmine tea would be my biggest foe.

Last Day of Classes of my Undergraduate Career

Today was it.

Today was my last day of classes at my university. Four years of hard work, three years of commuting, two years of being in my human services internship program, one year of being president of peer mentoring all ended today. I graduate June 15th and it's safe to say that I will be sad.

I really have nothing more to say at the moment because I am trying to take it all in.

Next steps to be determined...