Can't Leave Nest Syndrome

We've all heard of Empty Nest syndrome - a phenomenon where a mother (or father?) feels sad or depressed, empty, when their child leaves for college or leaves the home. Well.. I think I may be experiencing the opposite. I think I'm experiencing Can't Leave Nest syndrome, where I'm too comfortable in my parents home and too afraid to spread my wings and fly. I'm like that one bird that never learned how to fly and just stays in the nest getting fat off of it's mom's worm vomit. Except in my case it's my moms cooking.

I guess a good reason for me wanting to stay, for now, is that I don't need to be anywhere else. I am finishing up my last year of college, so they're providing me with a roof over my head. I can imagine why others may be experiencing this made up phenomenon. The job market isn't the best now and young adults fresh out of college can't find jobs. However, I do think that once we become comfortable in the nest our parents have made, it's very hard to leave.

In high school many go through a rebellious phase where everyone just wants to get out of the house and says to their parents constantly: "When I turn 18 I'm gonna move out and you'll never see me agian!" Or at least that's what I said amidst bouts of anger. When we do go off to college or move out cuz we can, we experience the cold cruel world and either come out successful or crash and burn and want to go back home. I went away to college for my freshman year and I certainly experienced the second. I wasn't even really out in the real world, I was living in a dorm getting tuition, room and board, and food paid for by my dad; but even then, I realized I didn't want to be away from the nest.

The nest is comfortable. It's where we grew up, learned how to love, got our hearts broken, were comforted by our parents, etc. But it's the past. The future is full of new experiences, new memories and new people. We have our own nests to build now, we can't be crowding our parents nest. As much as I love my parents and the home I grew up in, there are certainly memories I want to leave behind and new memories I want to be made. Humans are meant to experience change, that's why we don't stay babies our whole lives. We develop into fully functioning adults (sometimes) who should be able to leave their nests!!

Part of the reason why I write this is because I am experiencing this little made up phenomenon and part of it is because I am finishing up my senior year of college with no expectations for the future. I hope to get a full time job and eventually move out and then go to grad school. But because of these feelings of Can't Leave Nest syndrome, I feel like I'm being held back.

Also, parents need to encourage their children to leave the nest. If parents are still holding their 20 something year old children by the leash, spoiling them with warm meals and presents all the time, the child will never leave because, well.. why would they. They have everything because the parents are providing everything. Parents!! Let your children go! If you have raised them right, they will repay you in the future. They will visit you and care for you and give you grandchildren, but they can't do that if you never let go of them in the first place. (Oh and don't make them feel guilty for leaving you to go make a life for themselves. They love you but need to leave the nest before their lives are ruined and they forever regress into childhood.)